Right now i can feel the weight of my heart. AS IF there is a anvil there dragging me down.
Hmm.. strange days, stranger feelings, desperate actions!
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Pain??
I am totally pained with several issues.
I can't even sit down and point out what are the exact issues that are paining me.
I have lost the ability to think sensibly and am acting on my instincts, and most often, they turn out to be stupid.
I lose track of what I'm doing and start wondering if there is a point to what I am doing at all.
I do some things that are really stupid and avoidable, and then have to deal with the painful outcomes of it.
I get so frustrated with life that even things that should make me happy fail to do so these days.
I feel like I am going through the worst phase of my life.
I think I should go to a psychiatrist and get myself examined.
I don't see anything around me making any sense at all.
I am no longer able to explain my actions clearly to anyone.
I don't know what I should do next.
I should stop writing and get some rest.
I can't even sit down and point out what are the exact issues that are paining me.
I have lost the ability to think sensibly and am acting on my instincts, and most often, they turn out to be stupid.
I lose track of what I'm doing and start wondering if there is a point to what I am doing at all.
I do some things that are really stupid and avoidable, and then have to deal with the painful outcomes of it.
I get so frustrated with life that even things that should make me happy fail to do so these days.
I feel like I am going through the worst phase of my life.
I think I should go to a psychiatrist and get myself examined.
I don't see anything around me making any sense at all.
I am no longer able to explain my actions clearly to anyone.
I don't know what I should do next.
I should stop writing and get some rest.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Prelude
There are few times in your life( first time for me) when you write a blog post as a prelude to another one. SO without further elaborations, i hope you understand its grandeur.
I am gonna write a blog on IIT M elections 2007!.. :)
I am gonna write a blog on IIT M elections 2007!.. :)
Friday, March 2, 2007
everyone agrees that the best thing in life is getting a job which you truly enjoy doing
but what do you do ,if you are pretty good at something but just dont have the passion for it anymore ,, and you dont know whether you are any good at any thing else . I would take my case for instance i assume i would be a pretty good electrical engg if i put my mind to it .......
.first of all let me narrate a speech given by one of my elec proffs.....
he asked us why we should do device modelling,, and since proffs and students arent supposed to converse franklly in elec ,,well he himself had to answer his own question.....
he replied fine it is needed for circuits ,and a lot of people earn thier lively hoods from it,, but then again there are loads of courses like that ,so why this one??? ......well for a change wouldnt you love to do a course just because it is "intellectually simulating or challenging "" and for no other reason :)
well after bloody three years of nonsense and n number of brilliant courses wasted finally some sense prevails you would reckon .... but a few days in to the course the number starts to kick in... the formulas that one has to mug start pilling away ....and the sad truth kicks in if you want to do well in that course you have to practise those stupid formulae,, do some substitutions and get a feel for the kinda numbers the equations churn out ;no one gives a fuck if we actually "knew something" and just werent carefulwith a bit of trivial math .... its ok if sometimes 1 + 2 = 4
thats what all these fucking courses turn out to be in the end dont they ..trivial math..
tell me something how else can a friend of yours who's attended all classes put 18 hours of classes into about 2 hours on the day before the quiz thats because the idea part or fundamentals are so basic the rest is basic math;
knowing your formulae or pattern fitting (that can be a challenge agreed but then you got mug the pattern up badly so that you can repeat it efficiently in the bloody quizzes)
well thats why most of us claim that iits are not what they thought it would be.The primary reason for that would be the first year that we undergo here ,,its so bloody fucked up its just unbelievable ..... you basically got to rot rot rot ..... the ideas just aint enuff to carry you through .. you learn that understanding something at some deep level doesnt matter much .... i guess most would agree that we all feel anxious when there is a theory part in a paper.... thats cause most of the courses the theory is some stupid thing that has to be mugged up or its because we actually dont know shit about the theory or the ideas behind it.
i tell you what all courses should be bloody open book . lets see if those chuts have anything to teach us other than to rote some problems or formulae
these exams are supposed to test how well we know the subject rite ... well how does it matter in the real world ....whatever i am gonna fucking do with what i have learnt is not gonna be asked of impromptu right ;with of all resources locked away .......i can look at my book and solve the problem.... no one is gonna accuse me of copying as long as i can get it right by looking at a book and there mostly isnt much of a time limit as well ..... so make it open book i say if you have anything to teach that is and give ample time .half of the courses that exist now wouldnt be courses anymore
quality education a bunch of lies i tell you
at he end of the days you even dont know the few ideas that were taught
you just mug the shit before the quiz and have no clue about it after the course
let me be honest i loved studying for iitjee cause i though it couldnt be mugged up and its was all about understanding a bunch of ideas and applying them ........... atleast 50% of it...... and i saw that the people around me just couldnt get those ideas no matter how much effort they put in loved the feeling i must say ....but then you come here and see its not very true you dont have to be einstien to be here you just have to be above average and be ready to slog thats was just a bit hard to take you see the one thing you thought you were good at isnt true anymore you just another average joe in this present system and by the end of four sems your spirit is killed.... you take a look at a cat question paper and just love the math section simple ,, no mugging involved or so it seems..... the challenge is on again ..or so it seems for a while atleast ......the whole vicious cycle begin again
but what do you do ,if you are pretty good at something but just dont have the passion for it anymore ,, and you dont know whether you are any good at any thing else . I would take my case for instance i assume i would be a pretty good electrical engg if i put my mind to it .......
.first of all let me narrate a speech given by one of my elec proffs.....
he asked us why we should do device modelling,, and since proffs and students arent supposed to converse franklly in elec ,,well he himself had to answer his own question.....
he replied fine it is needed for circuits ,and a lot of people earn thier lively hoods from it,, but then again there are loads of courses like that ,so why this one??? ......well for a change wouldnt you love to do a course just because it is "intellectually simulating or challenging "" and for no other reason :)
well after bloody three years of nonsense and n number of brilliant courses wasted finally some sense prevails you would reckon .... but a few days in to the course the number starts to kick in... the formulas that one has to mug start pilling away ....and the sad truth kicks in if you want to do well in that course you have to practise those stupid formulae,, do some substitutions and get a feel for the kinda numbers the equations churn out ;no one gives a fuck if we actually "knew something" and just werent carefulwith a bit of trivial math .... its ok if sometimes 1 + 2 = 4
thats what all these fucking courses turn out to be in the end dont they ..trivial math..
tell me something how else can a friend of yours who's attended all classes put 18 hours of classes into about 2 hours on the day before the quiz thats because the idea part or fundamentals are so basic the rest is basic math;
knowing your formulae or pattern fitting (that can be a challenge agreed but then you got mug the pattern up badly so that you can repeat it efficiently in the bloody quizzes)
well thats why most of us claim that iits are not what they thought it would be.The primary reason for that would be the first year that we undergo here ,,its so bloody fucked up its just unbelievable ..... you basically got to rot rot rot ..... the ideas just aint enuff to carry you through .. you learn that understanding something at some deep level doesnt matter much .... i guess most would agree that we all feel anxious when there is a theory part in a paper.... thats cause most of the courses the theory is some stupid thing that has to be mugged up or its because we actually dont know shit about the theory or the ideas behind it.
i tell you what all courses should be bloody open book . lets see if those chuts have anything to teach us other than to rote some problems or formulae
these exams are supposed to test how well we know the subject rite ... well how does it matter in the real world ....whatever i am gonna fucking do with what i have learnt is not gonna be asked of impromptu right ;with of all resources locked away .......i can look at my book and solve the problem.... no one is gonna accuse me of copying as long as i can get it right by looking at a book and there mostly isnt much of a time limit as well ..... so make it open book i say if you have anything to teach that is and give ample time .half of the courses that exist now wouldnt be courses anymore
quality education a bunch of lies i tell you
at he end of the days you even dont know the few ideas that were taught
you just mug the shit before the quiz and have no clue about it after the course
let me be honest i loved studying for iitjee cause i though it couldnt be mugged up and its was all about understanding a bunch of ideas and applying them ........... atleast 50% of it...... and i saw that the people around me just couldnt get those ideas no matter how much effort they put in loved the feeling i must say ....but then you come here and see its not very true you dont have to be einstien to be here you just have to be above average and be ready to slog thats was just a bit hard to take you see the one thing you thought you were good at isnt true anymore you just another average joe in this present system and by the end of four sems your spirit is killed.... you take a look at a cat question paper and just love the math section simple ,, no mugging involved or so it seems..... the challenge is on again ..or so it seems for a while atleast ......the whole vicious cycle begin again
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Gen
Why am I blogging?
coz its the first of MARCH!. what better reason could there be?
The updates I can provide are as follows:( definitely written in the order of importance)
1. INSTI ELECTIONS have come. Its that time of the year when people who never noticed you until then, will act as though they are the best friends you ever had!. Friendship, regionalism, hostel spirit, wing spirit, branch spirit, lab spirit and some "n" other shady spirits which noone might have ever heard of are called into prominence. Promises are made, allegiances are sworn. People meet in the darkest corners of the insti, in the blackest hours of night. Smiles that would have put Mona Lisa to shame are on the lips of everyone. Faces that are like painted masks, no expression nor emotions. Its that time when plans are made, lies told, offers given. Lemme tell you one thing. There is nothign like politics... no.. not even tht..;)
hmm.. gues there is nothing else..!
coz its the first of MARCH!. what better reason could there be?
The updates I can provide are as follows:( definitely written in the order of importance)
1. INSTI ELECTIONS have come. Its that time of the year when people who never noticed you until then, will act as though they are the best friends you ever had!. Friendship, regionalism, hostel spirit, wing spirit, branch spirit, lab spirit and some "n" other shady spirits which noone might have ever heard of are called into prominence. Promises are made, allegiances are sworn. People meet in the darkest corners of the insti, in the blackest hours of night. Smiles that would have put Mona Lisa to shame are on the lips of everyone. Faces that are like painted masks, no expression nor emotions. Its that time when plans are made, lies told, offers given. Lemme tell you one thing. There is nothign like politics... no.. not even tht..;)
hmm.. gues there is nothing else..!
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